Friday, January 05, 2007

Some environmental suggestions

My wife's alma mater (and mine), Michigan State, sends us reading material from time to time, even though we are not members of the alumni association. One interesting thing came recently from the journalism school; an environmental journal. As would be expected, it was heavy on socialism and light on science, encouraging people to recycle and drive hybrid cars and so on.

As a little service, here are some suggestions for how to be environmentally more aware in the coming year.

1. Instead of flying, rent a Suburban or a Hummer and drive if you can. As long as you have three or more people in it, it actually pollutes less than flying and renting a hybrid.

2. Don't buy organic produce if you don't know about the source. The careless use of manure as fertilizer can not only give you disease, but also can poison water supplies.

3. Don't use ethanol in your vehicle if you don't need to. Maize/corn production is one of the biggest polluters of water there is.

4. Write a letter to the editor against socialistic policies. It's not an accident that the world's worst environmental disasters occur in socialist areas.

5. Avoid leaking methane (a dangerous greenhouse gas) into the air by using a charcoal or wood grill.

6. Stop a cow from leaking methane into the air by eating a nice big piece of beef tonight. Cook it over a charcoal or wood fire.

7. If you own an environmentalist dream car like a Subaru with visible emissions, take it to the junkyard so they can make it into a bumper for environmentally sensitive vehicles like the F250 or Tahoe.

8. Write a letter to Robert Bruininks asking him to take the Gophers football program to D-2 so they don't need to pave hundreds of acres over for a new football stadium.

9. Write another letter to the same guy asking him to stop offering remedial courses just so thousands of people who don't belong there can be there, driving their Subarus with visible emissions.

5 comments:

Bike Bubba said...

I rejoice that you're helping the environmentally responsible grazing of grasslands, while removing harmful methane from the atmosphere. :^)

Bike Bubba said...

My "stepsister in law" (stepbrother's wife) has a 1999 (or 1998?) Sienna--good powertrain, but a number of "first year" nickel & dime defects. You might do well to see if the particular vehicle has had those repaired, or if it somehow escaped that problem.

Otherwise, good van and welcome to minivan nation! You will be assimilated, and resistance is futile. :^)

Marklark said...

Thanks for some good laughs on this one! I hope that I didn't disturb the wife or chillerns!

Bike Bubba said...

I wasn't joking. Well, not much!

Bike Bubba said...

Anonymous Ian M.'s comments about eating yummy beef, getting out of a visible emissions Subaru, and joining Minivan Nation deleted.