Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A fun and safe way....

....to scare a bicyclist commuting to work is to give him a little bit of extra room while passing him on a road that has rumble strips in the middle as well as along the sides. He'll hear the rumble and think somebody is about to run him over, when in reality the driver is being extra polite.

(whew!)

(one other note; don't give bicyclists a lot of space at a red light; many of those lights will not detect a bicycle, but they will detect your car....pull up close, and we'll both get on our way quicker)

On another note, KingDavid has some terror of those burmese pythons coming north (or meeting him on his vacation), so here are some quick tips on how to safely dispatch them. Keep in mind that snakes can be deceptively quick, and generally offer only a small target profile. I'd recommend a shotgun. If you can't do that, a pistol loaded with shot shells might do the trick, and if you're in a "welcome criminals" (gun-free) zone, maybe a nice broadsword or battle axe would be a good choice. I would tend to prefer the longer edge of the broadsword, as it increases the chances of making nice snake steaks.

(steak is across the grain, filet is with the grain)

Oh, and don't forget your body armor while confronting these beasts.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pythons are constrictors, so, um, body armor for any part of the body, no matter how precious, is beside the point -- the real danger is in losing all of you at once. And Burmese Pythons actually offer a rather LARGE target.

Probably the most efficient thing you could do is carry around a small mutt with you at all times, and toss it to the snake if you see it coming. ;-) At least, that might make a good option for those of us not handy with the broadsword.

Bike Bubba said...

Oh, compared to some of the guys I know, even a python doesn't offer that big of a target..... :^)

(seriously, how do you hit the heart on a snake like you do a deer or elk? Where do you aim--that's the real point.)

I like the mutt idea, too....but someone else's toy poodle or schnauzer sounds like an even better idea. It would give you a nice, stationary target for whatever you've got....

Anonymous said...

Right between the eyes, of course!

IIRC, an anti-"exotic animal" ordinance was passed around here when we had the second or third incident of an escaped large snake within a year (not the same one), and the last one did kill somebody's small dog.

I don't know why they couldn't just nail the snake owners for reckless endangerment for not properly locking up their scaly little friends, instead of making it illegal for people in the City of Erie to own iguanas and anoles. It actually drove a pet store owner who specialized in reptiles out of business. Stupid, stupid.

Bike Bubba said...

Between the eyes of a snake whose head may be making its fast way towards my neighbor's chihuahua?

I'll aim for the body, thanks. I'm not that good of a shot!

Recommend you do the same, and use my recipe of course, to work to overturn an ill-considered ordinance. I bet a python will feed five hungry teens for a week! :^)

imfreenow.blogspot.com said...

Obaama would prefer to leave us defenseless against the beasts!

Anonymous said...

Thankfully, I will never have five teens! Man, that HURTS just thinking about how close those babies would have to be! I have three, at the moment. ;-)

Let's see, if I have this figured right, I'll have four teens for about four months, and then we're on the downslope. ;-)

Yeah, you're probably right about the chihuahua. I was picturing the serpent headed toward me, in which case I'd have a clear view of where his eyes were. But I've never handled a gun (and don't start with me about it.) I'm not sure I could even wield a broadsword, though, so I'll stick to the mutt.

Bike Bubba said...

OK, so it's time for you to learn the proper use of weapons so you can provide a fitting wedding feast when your oldest (or others) get married in 5-10 years or so..... :^)

(actually, with about 10 minutes of training, you'd probably do very well with a gun....women generally shoot better than men, 'cause they're not thinking that they're John Wayne or whatever)

Anonymous said...

I know, I know -- I agree in theory, I just can't ever see myself shooting a gun at an actual human being, no matter how much I may agree that it's an appropriate response in the situation. (It's like my attitude about hunting, only moreso -- hunting is great and I love venison, but I don't think I could pull the trigger on Bambi.) Mind you, it's NOT because I think there's anything wrong with anyone else doing it. When it comes down to it, I'll just have to take my risks.

I'm just one of those ladies who's going to have to rely on the existence of tough men to defend me directly and via deterrence.

Bike Bubba said...

Ya know, I hadn't really thought of the principle of headship as applied to killing snakes....very good point, and good thing you've got a husband (and sons?) to do the snake killing.....

Bike Bubba said...

Oh, and one good place for body armor around constrictors; remember that they use their teeth to hold their prey, so if they can't get a grip with their mouth (as in teeth sliding on steel), body armor might in fact help.

But if it didn't, talk about a miserable death....crumpled in a tin can. Ouch.