11. He's afraid that "education" candidate for governor Matt Entenza will win and force him to pronounce his name phonetically. (oh, wait, the NEA advocates whole language,....never mind)
10. Convenient way of skipping training camp.
9. He's actually already in Mankato visiting the Betsy-Tacy houses....incognito because he shaved.
8. Wants to get enough spices in his blood to kill skeeters before he comes to Twine Ball Country.
7. Convenient way of skipping training camp.
6. Negotiating with owners to get a good blocking running back to replace Adrian Peterson.
5. Secretly filming another Iron Maiden / Donavon video in Mankato with Learned Foot and Elmer.
4. Convenient way of skipping training camp.
3. Convenient way of getting better name recognition for endorsements without being hit by 300 pound linemen.
2. Get more time to go skeeter hunting in the bayou.
1. He really is retiring before he finds he cannot walk anymore.
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